Ask for help.......are you crazy??

I woke up this morning and really wished I decided to start my maternity leave sooner.  My morning started with Holly climbing into bed with me, putting her arm around my neck and saying," So tired mummy", then turning over and going back to sleep.  Feeling her pain, I turned over and did the same.

It's not like me at all to not want to go to work, but the truth is i'm starting to feel very heavy, very stressed and very tired.  Now i'm the first person to say that being pregnant is not an illness and shouldn't stop you doing anything, as long as you're careful, but sometimes I do wish my colleagues would remember that I am due in less than 6 weeks.  As they know my leaving date gets closer and closer they seem to feel the need to pile more work on to make sure it gets done before I go.  I'm finding i'm taking work home in the evenings now to meet deadlines and this is totally stressing me out.  It's not just the sitting down and doing reports, emails, admin, meetings etc etc but it's all the running around I have to do as well.  It would be nice if someone just offered to move that PC for me instead of standing there and watching me struggle.  Maybe people like to see me waddle and get some laughs out of it.

I understand the importance of why it needs to be done but some consideration needs to be given to pregnant women.  I have a friend who works in a nightclub, who is also heavily pregnant.  She's lucky in the fact that the bouncers are like extended family and look after her, but managment expect exactly the same from her.  Have we brought this on ourselves ladies?  By trying to show people that we are wonder women and can do everything, have we set a standard that, in reality, we can't always meet?  Is there any shame in saying to our bosses and colleagues that, actually we need a little bit of help right now?  In our heads we probably think that of course there is no shame in asking, yet we when it comes down to it how many of us ask for this help?

I'm totally guilty of not asking and trying to carry on like it was just another day in the office.  The truth is my boss will never know how I crash on the sofa in an evening with a cold cup of tea and half eaten piece of toast and fall asleep until I wake with dribble down my face at silly o'clock. 

This is baby number 2 for me and I'd like to think if I went on to baby number 3 that I would learn from this and change my behaviours, but then again.........probably not!

Lots of love yummy mummys

Suz xx

Thursday 14th July........Start as you mean to go on

Good morning world - this is how me and Holly greeted the day this morning.  This attitude has actually led to a rather productive day.  I've had a 'To Do' list as long as my arm and I'm pleased to report that I've ticked off 95% of it.  I must admit I've used the, "I'm pregnant so don't mess with me today" look a few times but it has meant that people have not wasted my time and I've been able to crack on with stuff.

I've also had my first does of Braxton Hicks today and it was greeted with a WTF?  I never had them when I was carrying Holly so to have them second time round came as a bit of a shock.  I made my way to the loo where I could shout out a bit in peace but I was more annoyed than anything.  I was sat in the cubicle cursing them for causing me such an inconvenience.  I mean, does my body not know I've done this giving birth thing before? I can still remember it from first time round so I really don't need practice contractions thank you very much.  I also made the mistake of telling my birthing partner, not realising that she would be running out of work thinking that the real thing was happening.  I couldn't help but laugh when I was telling her it was a false alarm.

Well, my baby girl is with her Daddy tonight so I have an evening to myself.  I think it will involve a big fat takeaway, plenty of blogging and lots of crashing in front of telly with my fat feet up.

Until next time yummy mummy's

Suz xxx



Monday 11th July - The weekend went so quick I barely even saw it!!

Good morning all and welcome to the start of another week. 

I had the intentions of writing about events on both Saturday and Sunday, but with everything that seemed to happen the time just flew by and before I knew it, it was Monday morning again.  The weekend was a busy one with lots of flying around all over the place trying to get my jobs done.  I was successful in doing this, however the ME time I promised myself got side lined, again!!

It was my lovely mummy's birthday on Sunday and that proved to be a very emotional day for me.  I think that, combined with hormones and missing my baby girl is what made it a day of tears.  I couldn't tell you why but I found myself crying at everything.  I even watched an episode of  "send in the dogs" and was in tears when one of the dogs let a suspect get away.  It was also the weekend that it dawned on me that my mum wasn't going to be here to help me with my second baby.  Everyone says that this one will be a doddle and that I already know what I'm doing, but lets be honest, no one knows what they're doing and when we need help we always turn to our mums.  I'm very lucky to have a group of amazing friends and family, who I know will support me, but it's not the same is it.

An update on the baby blanket is that the image in my head didn't quite make it to the fabric and Dion now has a play mat.  Holly has kindly tested it for me several times, so I know it meets the baby test and if nothing else I can say that it is a gift that truly comes from the heart.

A stupid day had at work this morning with lots of discussions about whether I have a job to come back to after maternity leave.  As if being pregnant isn't taking enough out of me, it now seems I have to prove why my project is worth keeping, to people who have already made their minds up that they don't want to keep it.  I'm feeling fat, hot and bothered and really can't be muffed with this at the moment.

I'm really looking forward to getting to nursery to pick Holly up and have our regular half an hour in the park.  Think I need a bit of perspective and she gives it like no one else.  I need to keep telling myself that I work to live and not live to work and I'm a creative person so I will make an opportunity for myself and my family.

A long soak in the bath with Josephine Cox and non alcoholic wine is most certainly in order to finish my day.

Here's to getting rid of Monday and getting one step closer to the weekend :)

Lovez

Suz xxx

Thursday 7th July - 1st day of the diary!

Today is the first day of my online diary.  I decided to start it today as it's a day when Holly is with her Dad so I actually have time to sit down and put some thoughts on to paper.  Today has been relatively quiet on the work front as it seems many of my colleagues are away on holiday or out of the office, and that honestly suits me down to the ground.  It gave me chance to catch up on all the paperwork that has been growling at me all week, and make some phone calls to catch up with people.

On the Holly front it has been quite a different story.  Today we found out that she had a poop at nursery......on the potty!  She won't have a wee yet but we've got her having poops and I'm the proudest mummy in the world.  Oh how my life has changed!  No longer does a fancy new frock, a night on the town or clothes shopping thrill me, but it's my little baby having a poop on the potty.  In light of this my evening has been spent making her potty at home more attractive.  I've got some stickers for her to decorate it with, a special teddy to sit with her and some books that are now potty books.  It's amazing what lengths we go to for these life changing events.  Her Uncle Andy is visiting tonight so I've no doubt that he will also be getting the full poop story from her.

I also became an auntie yesterday to a beautiful baby girl.  Baby Dion was born weighing 7lbs 5 and mummy and baby are doing well.  I'm hoping to get across and see them this weekend so I'm making a baby blanket for her.  It's nothing spectacular, despite how it looks in my head, but I think that home made stuff means more and lasts longer.  I've also packaged up some of the cardies that my mum knitted Holly to give her.  My mum would have gone knitting mad if she had still been here and I think she would have wanted Dion to have something, so I'm keeping the clothes in the family.

Well that's about it for my first diary entry.  I'm off to make myself a cuppa, put the finishing touches to my blanket and then settle down for the apprentice (sad I know but I just love Nick)

Same time tomorrow.

Keep these in your pocket
xxxxx

Suz